Over the last several days my studies have not seemed particularly spiritual or enlightening. Admittedly most of them have begun around 11:00 at night. Despite my occasional lack of focus and direction in studying, I have been blessed for my efforts.
Day 11 marked the beginning of a week of revelation. Though it didn't feel like a scripture study any different from the rest, Heavenly Father gave me a hint of what He wants me to change about myself. In the days following day 11, I have had "love" come to my mind several times. I began to study it under lds.org's gospel topics tab. (I'm starting to love that, by the way!)
I don't feel like I have necessarily learned anything new about love besides the fact that I have been struggling with it and the Lord would like me to address that issue.
Though I am a person who generally deals well with change, certain aspects of my move to Madison have been difficult. I left behind friends who I love with all my heart. People who have changed me forever and who have been with me during pivotal moments in my life. Consequently, I have a high expectation of my friends now. It's kind of like dating again after you found (and broke up with) the perfect man.
My problem is that I have been expecting the same quality of relationships in people who I have only met in the last year. To be honest, I have used a very fine strainer to decide who has potential to be my next bestie. Perhaps as a side effect of that attitude, I have begun to look for the flaws instead of the gifts that people have, and it has not been working for me.
I did not realize I was doing this until the Lord gave me several subtle impressions during my study and pondering time.
I am grateful for the opportunity that is created by studying my scriptures. As I've taken time to PONDER in addition to reading, I have felt my mind guided to those things that the Lord wants me to know.