Thursday, February 25, 2016

And I'm back!

I've had this nagging feeling for the longest time. It says: WRITE! JOURNAL! BLOG! EXPRESS! RECORD! And somehow whenever I get a free second I am just so exhausted that I end up watching Netflix or going to bed instead. (Does anyone else think watching "Netflix" sounds less embarrassing than watching "TV"? I feel like it's less lazy. Yeah, totally.)

The problem is that I have some serious topics to tackle. So here comes the disclaimer: I'm going to be writing about things that really matter to me. I don't claim to be able to back all of my opinions with procedural, analytical, or statistical data. I may do a couple educated google searches to try to back what I'm pretty sure is backable, but I also just feel some of this stuff.

It's okay with me if you disagree. But to be clear, I really don't mean to open up any heated arguments. I don't mean to convince. I am seeking to understand myself and to give others a glimpse into why I feel the way I do. Please read with some effort toward empathy and understanding. If you can't do that, maybe these entries aren't the ones for you. (Or at least not the ones to comment on).

So here I go trying to be true to myself just like Lilly is true enough to herself that if she wants to hide in the fridge, she just goes for it. I hope to someday be that cool. (Pun intended).

I have been asked some excellent questions and I've never answered any of them to my satisfaction. I'm not always sure if people realize how big their questions are. I try to be sensitive to not overwhelm or bore them with my in-depth and often passionate answer. So I am re-purposing this blog to address some of those questions. Because maybe they really want to know.

So, if you really want to know...
  • Why I'm a feminist?
  • How I can stand working in such a "depressing field"? (I'm a mental health and drug and alcohol counselor)
  • How I'm doing following my miscarriage?
  • Why I haven't left my church despite my many grievances with it?
This is where I'm going to examine those difficult questions as honestly, openly, and vulnerably as I can.

Some of my entries will be essay-like, responding to particular questions. But, I also hope to use this blog to track my efforts to answer my own big questions. These entries will be primarily for me and won't be polished or essay-like at all. And, because un-polished-learning-as-I-go is way less intimidating than trying to produce my most-up-to-date and complete answer to a difficult question, I'll be starting there.